Living with Bipolar Depression
Hello, it's Jessie Marie aka @I_AMJESSIEMARIE
Today I'd like to talk about a tough topic, a subject often attached to a very negative stigma; mental health- specifically Bipolar Depression.
"Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness or manic depression, is a mental illness that causes extreme shifts in mood, energy, and activity levels."
Symptoms of Bipolar include of the following:
Racing thoughts or difficulty concentrating
Speaking quickly or talking a lot
High sex drive
Feeling overly confident or adventurous
Impulsive or extravagant behavior
Saying or doing things that are inappropriate or unusual
Hallucinations or delusions
Losing a lot of weight or gaining weight
Sleeping too little or too much
Feeling restless or acting slower than usual
Amongst other severe symptoms.
I have BPD (Bipolar Depression) and it is a daily struggle to feel what society considers "normal". I struggle with severe depressive episodes, loss of appetite, negative and low thoughts of self worth and self esteem and more. I struggle with eating healthy, sleeping, over sleeping and many other symptoms as stated above.
What can you do to manage BPD?
You may think to yourself, "That sounds like me. Am I Bipolar? Do I have depression?" I cannot diagnose but I can and will tell you that if you're expecting any of the symptoms I've listed and described that you may possibly be bipolar or suffer from depression. Just know that you are not alone!
You can still live a healthy and normal life with BPD. First, make sure to reach out to your doctor or a psychiatrist! It is important to be diagnosed and treated by a professional. Do not attempt to self diagnose or treat your symptoms.
Now, if you have been diagnosed; seek proper treatment. Medication isn't a fix all but it IS something that can help manage your symptoms and keep you mentally stable on most days. You will still have good and bad days. Also, if needed counseling can also be a positive addition to medication. Having the right treatment is extremely important! Pay attention to what triggers your depressive state, what causes your mood swings and or outbursts. Learn to avoid triggers if and when possible. I know it's easier said than done but I've personally noticed that stress is a huge trigger for my BPD. It isn't easy to manage stress but it is possible to avoid certain stressful situations.
Another great option to add to treatment is Vagus Nerve stimulation. I use what is called a Vagus Nerve Stimulator. You can find the one I use on my bio below.
You can find the Pulsetto Vagus Nerve Stimulator down my bio. (Top link)
What does it do?
Vagus Nerve Stimulators send electrical impulses to the vagus nerve. This can help with various symptoms and conditions such as;
- relaxation
- sleep
- focus
- heart rate
- stress
- digestive health
- pain
- depression
- chronic and overall health
It can also help treat epilepsy seizures, cluster headaches/migraines, stroke rehabilitation, mood stability, memory and more! It's a great device and should be used on a steady schedule once a day. What's great about the Pulsetto Vagus Nerve Stimulator is that it's hands free and has an app to connect to and function the device! Also, it's rechargeable so you can use it over!
Is there a cure for BPD?
No, there is no cure when it comes to mental health conditions but as I mentioned it can be treated and managed with the proper care!
Along with treatment, you need to learn to put in the work. Self care and self love are beyond important when coping with a depressive disorder. As hard as it is some days I've learned that I have to push through and take care of myself. I cannot go days and days without eating or it just becomes worse. I must force myself to get up, shower and get on with my day even though it may seem like the hardest thing in the world sometimes. (People just don't realize that!)
I have also learned that I need to accept my BPD and cut myself some slack! No, I am not excusing my condition or behavior at times. But, I am allowing myself to learn not to beat myself up so much. Sometimes it's okay to take a what I like to call, "mental health day". Those are days when my depression is severe, my mood is unmanageable and I just don't have the fight in me. You will have days like these. They are unavoidable. On the days make sure to rest. Just as your body needs rest, so does your brain! But please keep in mind if you're having a very low day and taking a break from everyday life you still need to care for yourself. Make sure to drink plenty of fluids, eat, get up even if it's just to go to the bathroom! (Yes, being depressed comes along with a struggle of even going to the bathroom at times unfortunately)..
Lastly- accept help and communication is key!
It is okay to need help! It is okay to ask for help! You're not in this alone. If you're lucky to have a good support system like I have than you need to choose to use it! Communicate with your loved ones. Sometimes this can be extremely hard. I know for me it's very tough to communicate when I'm in a bipolar/ depressive state. I become very aggressive and sensitive. I have outbursts and cry, fight over things I normally wouldn't, make bigger deals about things than I should. This isn't something that you can just flip a switch and turn off. You're going to deal with these symptoms from time to time; sometimes more than you can handle. Talk about it. Allow your loved ones to understand how you're feeling and why you're feeling the way you are. It goes both ways. Family and friends need to understand that you have a mental health condition and that this isn't you that is acting this way, but your BPD. Ask them to educate themselves and research your condition if they don't understand it. Ask them to be a little more patient and considerate of your feelings. Ask for additional help with day to day tasks and living if you're really struggling.
To wrap it up; I hope this blog helped explain and allow you to better understand living with BPD and how to help manage it. But, sometimes it becomes to overwhelming and no matter what you do you just can't seem to get it under control. My inbox is ALWAYS open.
My email is- atkinson.jessica@aol.com
I am not a professional but am more than open to talking to anyone that is looking for a peer advocate, advice, more resources or just a person to talk to.
If you get to the point that you're having suicidal ideations or feel like you may harm yourself and or others please don't wait to immediately call or text the Suicide Hotline!
Their information;
Call or text- 988
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Languages: English, Spanish
Hours: Available 24 hours
Thanks for reading. Stay healthy and continue to fight through your struggles.
Jessie Marie
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